ugly:

Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ….acknowledged

goblinbutch:

me: *is bored for 0.5 seconds*

me: i wanna learn how to work wood. i need to build a boat

vaporwavesimulator:

*wii shop channel music playing as i lay dead on the ground*

allsadnshit:

ailaalue:

man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?
me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

I’ve been laughing at this on and off for two straight days

kirikatachibana:

real-live-dragon:

if that sewer clown makes himself an image of your worst fear before he eats you, i could kick his ass. what’s he gonna do turn into the physical manifestation of being abandoned by your closest friends? gonna turn into an ooky spooky visual representation of catastrophic failure and loss? jokes on you dumbass the only thing im afraid of is myself

Time to kick my own ass. Bitch had it coming for too long